1. A Firm Foundation
·
Preparing for a successful marriage
can be likened to constructing a building.
·
Constructing a building requires
careful preparation, so also is preparing for a successful marriage.
·
A marriage must have a strong
foundation if it is to last and be satisfying.
·
Just like a solid structure needs a
firm foundation, a strong family also needs a firm foundation.
·
Have a realistic view of both the
blessings and the cost of being married.
2. The Right
Priorities
·
In a successful marriage, each
spouse puts the other’s needs ahead of self, possessions, jobs, friends and
other relatives.
·
Husband and wife spend plenty of
time with each other and the children. This may sound difficult for bankers but
doable.
·
Both are willing to make sacrifices
for the interest of the family.
3. Commitment
·
Successful couples view their
marriage as a permanent union.
·
When problems arise, they strive to
solve it rather than using it as an excuse to abandon the marriage.
·
A sense of commitment makes the couple
to feel secure and trust that the other will continue to honor the union.
·
It is motivated by sincere,
heartfelt love and is a reflection of respect and honor for each other and for
God. So never undermine your sacred marital relationship by flirting; have eyes
only for your mate.
4. Teamwork
·
Two are better than one, if one of
them should fall, the other one can raise his partner up.
·
Both husband and wife should view
their marriage in terms of ‘ours’ and ‘we’ rather than ‘mine’ and ‘me’.
·
When there is teamwork, husband and
wife are no longer single at heart but married to be an entity.
·
When disagreements occur, you work
out practical solutions instead of wasting time and emotional energy blaming
and accusing.
5. Respect
·
Both troubled and successful
families have disagreements but successful families discuss matters without
resorting to insults and other forms of abusive speech.
·
Ask yourself – when I speak to my
spouse or children, do I resort
to
using insulting words such as “stupid,” “idiot,” or something similar?
to
using insulting words such as “stupid,” “idiot,” or something similar?
·
Family members treat one another as
they themselves would like to be treated.
6. Forgiveness
·
Successful couples learn from the
past but they do not keep track of old grievances and then use these to make
sweeping assertions (like, you are always…, you never listen…).
·
Keep past grievances out of any
present disagreements you may have with your spouse.
·
Settle any misunderstanding you have
before going to bed. Do not carry it over till the next day.
·
When couples disagree, each one
needs to be swift about hearing, slow about speaking and slow about
wrath. After listening carefully, they might see the need to
apologize. Saying with sincerity, “sorry for hurting you” takes
humility and courage.
Important Points to Note:
For a Successful Marriage
·
Make time for your marriage and your
mate.
·
Promote warmth, love, and affection.
·
Be trustworthy and committed.
·
Be kind and respectful.
·
Share the workload at home.
·
Contribute to mutually satisfying
conversations.
·
Share humor and relaxation.
·
Keep working at strengthening your
marriage.
When You Need to Discuss a Problem
·
Schedule a time when neither of you
is tired.
·
Avoid criticizing; be positive
toward each other.
·
Avoid interrupting; take turns
listening and talking.
·
Acknowledge your spouse’s feelings.
·
Express empathy for each other, even
when you disagree.
·
Be reasonable and flexible.
·
Humbly apologize when you are
mistaken.
·
Express appreciation and affection.
·
Turning off the TV allows more time
for communication.
Written by Linda Diokpa
Follow on twitter @diokpalinda
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