MARRIAGE MYTHS (PART 2)

“May…God…give you a spirit of unity.”  Romans 15:5

3.   We are not in love any more.  Did you hear about the woman who ran a newspaper advert that said, “Husband wanted?”  She got lots of responses, all saying the same thing: “You can have mine!”  Seriously, if negativity and bitterness are eroding your marriage it is time to make some changes by:

·         Remembering your history.  Chances are you started out as good friends.  So ask yourself how you would treat your best friend if you were having relationship issues.  Not by being critical and defensive, right?  What initially attracted you to one another anyhow?  When did you fall in love?  How did you act when things were good?  Recall and rehearse your best moments.

·         Keeping your thoughts focused on what God can do.  Zero in on your mate’s best qualities, then start believing that God can turn your relationship around.  Remember, you have more ability than you realize to change your perception of your partner.  So concentrate on all the things in your marriage that are “of good report” Philippians 4:8.

MARRIAGE MYTHS (PART 1)

"May...God...give you a spirit of unity."  Romans 15:5

Many couples struggling with "curable" issues, have bought into 4 common marriage myths.

1.  If I try, I can change my partner.  Give it up!  If you think following the "right" plan, struggling harder and refusing to give up will change them, think again.  The Bible says, "Do not think you are better than you are" Romans 12:3.  The truth is, you can only work on yourself.  Once you change your steps in the marriage dance, your mate will begin to adjust theirs.  Plus, by identifying and working on your own shortcomings you will gain credibility with your mate, and create an environment that is conducive to change.  Now, here are some things you can do:

• Praise the qualities you admire most and build on them.  Anytime you see positive change, recognize and encourage it.
• Do not let things escalate.  Make a habit of asking, "Is there anything on your mind we have not talked about lately?"  The Bible says do not go to bed angry (see Eph 4:26), so deal with things before they lead to hard feelings and cause strife.
• Try to be more understanding.  When people do not feel understood, they dig in their heels and resist change.
• Lessen you dependence on your mate.  Remember, no one can meet all your needs all the time.  You need friends to talk to and share activities with.